Ireland: The Thick Greenery

In the thick, the muck, the life! I cannot help but compare my time here on the Emerald Isle with my time on Earth. Over the hump.
I am breathing crisis of youthful and middle age, and suddenly my experience in the universe is put into context.

A typical study session

Classes are in full swing, and what does that mean? Midterms, projects, late nights, the familiar sting.
[Riley, stop rhyming]
If I had to compare it to America, I'd call it harder work with lower stress. At least, that's an insight I stumbled upon while walking from class. It sounded thrifty. And it's probably because there's midterms all the time back home. We only have a final, here. Finals, finals, finals (still weeks away. What luxury).

I haven't worked this hard or been this un-stressed since elementary school.
[My mother will appreciate that one]
I think the motivation here is more healthy than fear of attrition (that is, survival of the fittest). I'm learning so I can accomplish this project I've told you about and participate in class and group discussions. We're designing a building from the top-down. Have I taken all the time to work that I would if I was still in America? No. I try to worry, but all of my classmates keep telling me "Oh, that's not so bad" and "no worries" and "it'll be grand" and when I asked them about whether I should study or worry or adventure Ireland, they all tell me "Adventure Ireland. The academics all come together." (I'm paraphrasing)

It's a blessing, the work.
Honestly, there have been points where I am twisted between tired, unfocused, and deadline and I'll step out of my chair, kneel down, and pray. Sometimes I'm just too distracted to focus, and other times I am filled with an intense desire to work, to learn, to focus. I've talked to God a lot about engineering, why I was drawn there, why I continue, and where the strength keeps coming from. There must be a reason, I think, and then I pray, and then, with prayer comes the inspiration (often the inspiration comes days after the prayer, but it always gets done).

Where is the spirit in engineering? Where is the spirit in Ireland?
I'm over being the master of my purpose. I've felt it. It's so quiet. I'm hungry for it.

But listen, you might find this interesting:
I was always kind of joking when I talked about learning the language of engineering. I've literally been making as many flashcards for these classes as I did in my first semester of spanish class, back in the day. Language is no joke. Engineering is a study of relationships, and expressing those relationships in the most concise symbols available. My roommates and friends have all been teaching me their languages, too. Here's an engineering poem, translated to english.

"Push me, pull me" the portal frame relents,
And scribe my bends into pencil ends,
That the public may continue their breath,
That the dwellings stay warm, and the lights keep on.



Emotionally, though,
I'm feeling a unique loneliness, and so thankful for my roommates and my friends and our dinners. Breaking bread and doing dishes among brothers and sisters is always good. I've leaned on them here and there, though I haven't really landed on anyone, emotionally, despite my aches. Not really heavy, anyway.

I'm also developing the start of a sore throat.
[I really shouldn't be writing right now. Mom, I can hear you tell me to go to bed, and I know it's a good idea. You've had a lot of good ideas]



It's been a long time since I've talked to home. Since I've put much time into remembering Texas or Oregon or Montana or Washington. This is the first time I haven't felt pressured to maintain my relationship with them. I'm so far away, liberated to be present with those around me. Like, I'm not there, not damned to haunt them like some electronic spirit, which is what I've tied myself to in so many other instances, but I know I'm always welcome there. So many places. So many homes.

Christmas time, I'm halfway there, and I am just anxious enough and just excited enough for your arrival that the present is just about where I am. Walking to and from class. Listening to headphones. Walking, walking, walking in the rain.

Now, it's Halloween. I am here. I will dress like a scary scientist penguin.



Rain, rain, rain, Ireland replies.
Rain, rain, rain.